November 11, 2004

The Baby Matters

I recently overheard a phone conversation between my husband and a longtime friend. They were discussing what was going on in their respective lives when, somehow, my husband declared that I wanted more kids.

However, the way he said it made it sound as if I were lying on my back, spread-legged, just begging to be inseminated.

Not quite.

When I was younger, I decided that I wanted to have seven children. Yup, seven. Of course, at the time, I also wanted to name one of them "Tabitha," which I can say I've changed my mind about that.

However, after seeing the how babies are born video, I decided I only wanted three, if any. The husband, who was more than content leading a childless life, wanted none. If children were to be had, two would be the maximum.

I always thought pregnancy looked kind of fun. You wear cute new clothes (hello shopping!) and everyone talks about how much you glow and you eat all you want and nobody cares!

Then I actually got pregnant and discovered pregnancy acne, maternity clothing that didn't fit until the seventh month and dimples on my thighs. And nausea. All day nausea that never ended and made me want to jump in front of traffic to end my misery.

My husband found it so entertaining that he created a video montage of me eating and then running to the bathroom to vomit.

Once I actually went through the process known as birth, I remember thinking that I Never Wanted To Do That Again. The birth itself, after the epidural was administered, was not too bad, no it was what happened afterwards that scared me.

Blood. Swelling. Stitches.

Now my child is four months old and sometimes I find myself thinking that I'd like to have another. Not now, I mind you, as I couldn't imagine having two little tikes running around at the same time. But eventually. Within the next few years.

And I talk to people who have more than one child, especially those considering having a third or fourth, and I find myself in awe. You mean you actually want to have more? Go through this again?

Isn't there a magical baby pill one can take that brings the stork around with a non-crying baby that doesn't poop or get sick?

Posted by Rachel at November 11, 2004 04:54 PM

I have two kids...ten months apart...neither were planned, especially the second! My hubby wants another but I don't. After going through two years of pregnancy and two births within ten months, I am done!! They are both four right now so I've been feeling that yearning for a baby but I know that I really don't want another, I'm finally getting into the stage where they'll be going to school and I'll have some freedom!

Posted by: Priscilla at November 11, 2004 04:59 PM

To answer your question, SJ, yes. It's called grandmahood. And you've got a while until that happens.

You know my little's easier now that the baby is 6 months...up until about a month ago, having a toddler and an infant was verrryyy....exhausting and all-consuming? Something akin to that.

Posted by: Autumn at November 11, 2004 07:34 PM

Amazing! You managed to get through an entire post about pregnancy and childbirth without saying the word "Boob"!

Well done. You're a stronger man than me (that was a she-nuts reference har har).

Posted by: Amanda at November 11, 2004 11:15 PM

I'm a 24 yr old sahm, married for 4 years. I have a 2.5 yr old, and am trying for another. My Mother, Ms. Vice President of Very Important Shit thinks that I am an idiot, and asks me why I want to go through all of it again, now that I am starting to get the hang of all this mom stuff. In her mind, I should be looking at daycares and jobs, so I can start being "normal" again.

Well, this is my brand of "normal". This is my chosen path. I love the feeling I get when my little turd masters a new skill. I love knowing that my husband and I will be able to enjoy all of these firsts all over again.

I know if we had 2 or more kids already I would be singing a different tune. I know we're going to be crazy, tired and busy, but I also know that we will be happy.

PS Zoloft is good.

Posted by: MollieBee at November 11, 2004 11:28 PM

My first baby was "HELL"....labour went on from 3 a.m. Sunday morning, until 6:47 Tuesday morning. I gained 52 lbs and ripped to shreds. My baby was colicky...cried all day...SCREAMED all night! We were pregnant 18 months later...lost him. Pregnant again a year later....this guy was a 4 1/2 hour labour from start to finish, he colick. 3 1/2 years later...pregnant again...with a girl....a girl with horns. She slept 12 hours a night (every night) from the time she was 7 weeks old.....

My blood pressure is up, I've lost all my weight and then some, I add more clicks to my car now (being a SAHM) then when I worked (35 kms) away, I never sleep, I spend all my money on them, I have no time to myself, the greys are coming in fast and furious, I watch "Max and Ruby" all day....but I wouldn't change it for the world. They're mine...they're all different....and they're loved.

Posted by: Lujza at November 14, 2004 09:19 AM

I have two kids. 5 years age difference. And got to say, I feel more like a referee at times than a parent. But maybe that is due to them both being boys. Still tho, wouldn't pass up this experience for anything :)

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