December 07, 2004

Body Basics

When I see pictures, videos or writings of someone who is no longer alive, I can't help but do the math and think that the person only had three weeks, months, years to live.

I wonder if they knew?

Well, of course not, of course this person didn't know, that is, unless the person had a terminal illness. Even then, the time frame isn't sure.

I wonder if these people would have done anything different if they knew the end would be here in three years. Would they worry less about petty things?

Do I worry about petty things? Yes, I'm sure I do. I find myself worrying about weight issues-- something that often happens after a baby is born. A baby is born, a life is changed, as is a body.

Things aren't the way they used to be. A sag here, a little bit wider there...It all seems so unfair. Yet, at the same time, it is so petty.

Am I horrible for caring, for wanting the old body back? Do I have the time or energy to get it back? Oftentimes I find myself feeling like The Old Me is gone, that she was left on the birthing table.

In her place is someone with sags and dimples and extra skin. She wonders where the body confidence she had went. She wonders why she has to hate the new shell; why she can't accept what nine months of baby making has done to her.

Does anyone accept it? If you accept it, do you eventually just let yourself go? Can you accept and love without letting go?

Posted by Rachel at December 7, 2004 04:00 AM | TrackBack

Yet another excellent dilemma. I'm on your same page, though, once again. I realize, now that I have stretch marks and am well on my way to having saggy, empty-sack boobs, that I used to be totally hot. I want to not care and let all the things that, in the bigger picture, aren't even blips on God's radar, just roll off my back. But like you said, if you do that, will you let yourself go and not build yourself up to a true potential? I have resolved to tell myself that I can always do better, in everything, and that includes improving my physical self. The down side, of course, is never being content with the way you are.

Life's a bitch.

Posted by: Antonia at December 7, 2004 04:34 AM

Yeah I feel the same way...and with kid #2, that before-baby-body is even farther away, it seems. I sometimes feel like I want to quick get the whole pregnant and nursing thing over with so that I can get "my" body back, but then I realize that means having lots of little ones laying around crying. Heh. Totally with ya Antonia on the empty-sack boobs (except not so empty at the moment). Blech.

Posted by: Arianne at December 7, 2004 08:36 AM

i want the best of both worlds: accepting the changes and the imperfections, but also taking the steps to fine-tune what i can.

unfortunately, i've found that staying busy with the baby is the perfect excuse for postponing any kind of exercise and that's really pissing me off. Need to get my act together!!

Posted by: frozenmojo at December 7, 2004 12:36 PM

in the grander scheme of things, worrying about one's appearance is kinda petty, but our self-image is tied so closely to our sense of well-being and self-esteem that letting ourselves go is not a great least it's not for me. :-) the trick is finding the time and motivation to do something about it...

Posted by: frozenmojo at December 7, 2004 02:37 PM

i had a black out and forgot that i already posted a comment, i got an error message and thought my first comment didn't go through...

Posted by: frozenmojo at December 7, 2004 02:42 PM

Good question. I am about 20 lbs. larger now than before I got pregnant. But I don't feel different, you know? It's really weird, when I picture myself, it's always pre-preggo body. Then I look in the mirror and wonder who the hell that lady is.

I hate working out, I used to just drink lots of water or not eat as much to maintain my prior weight. It's a whole new game now. If I want to drop even a few pounds it's like pulling teeth. I also am trying to get pregnant again, so I tell myself even if I did lose some weight I would still be putting it right back on. Sneaky, huh? So I decided that my current size is not something to worry about and decided to focus on making healthyish eating choices and just let it be.

It also helps to have a sweet husband who never ever refers to what a blob you've become.

Posted by: MollieBee at December 7, 2004 04:45 PM

I can't accept it. I'm 22, yet I have horrific stretch marks, and saggy boobs. Although my fiance still tells me I'm attractive, I REALLY miss the way I look post-twins. IMO, most women cannot just shrug that off, our society thirves on image, and we are trained to worry about it!

Posted by: Crystal at December 8, 2004 06:23 AM

After the fifth kid, why worry? I wish I had the vision of my younger years, which was never perfect but was better than now, and I am not thrilled that I'm going grey. Wanting youth is the desire of most humans I think, for both sexes, but perhaps for women more.

Posted by: Rachel Ann at December 16, 2004 10:08 PM

ouefz iajvie.

Posted by: Gillam at December 21, 2004 10:25 PM

I stumbled accross this post by doing a search for "saggy boobs". I am a 42 year old male, and I LOVE saggy boobs. My wife has the most wonderful saggy boobs I've ever had the pleasure of enjoying, nipple on the bottom, stretch marks and all.... I'm in heaven! Believe your fiance'! I totally empathise! Be free and open with your body with your fiance', and enjoy that uninhibited freedom... you will both be blessed and satisfied.

Posted by: bruce at February 25, 2005 06:03 PM
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